PATRICIA S. BOWNE
Academic Satire
Fantasy for Faculty

Most academic administrators only think they work with demons from hell...

Welcome to the Royal Academy at Osyth, where faculty summon demons in the sub-basement, stay out all night following vampires, trap incubi in rabbits, argue about embedded sexism in the structure of magical spells, and create new laws of nature - all of it sandwiched in between meetings and teaching responsibilities.

These are stories about a modern academy for modern academics, who know there really are demons in the basement.


WHAT'S NEW!

SWEPT AND GARNISHED
The new Royal Academy novel is published!
After barely surviving the semester at the Royal Academy, Hiram Rho heads home for the summer and his department chair, Warren Oldham, departs on a well-deserved vacation. While Rho tries to get his powers back, Warren's vacation takes an unexpected turn that leaves him battling a demon from inside it. Back in Osyth Russell Cinea, the senior demonologist, is finally in charge - for a week full of demons, exorcists, and unexpected temptations.
Also, Rho's mother and Warren's wife take on the biggest, ooziest demon ever. This is my 'old ladies ROCK' book. Enjoy!
You can read the prologue and buy it NOW at Double Dragon Ebooks or Amazon.

Great Light's Daughters, a creation tale from my work in progress, is now available in the Abbreviated Epics anthology from Third Flatiron anthologies. You can find it at Amazon or Smashwords.

Where Souls Go a creepy fairytale from my work in progress, now online at Rose Red Review.

Those Who Favor Fire An ambiguous Royal Academy love story featuring Winston Chiliming, the Academy diviner. Winston won't be categorized -- for good reason. Read it online free at Lorelei Signal

Drawing of Winston by Georgie Schnobrich


The Proud Princess Not a Royal Academy story, just a sort-of-traditional fairy tale. In Unsettling Wonder Spring 2013

Some jobs are more trouble than they're worth ...
the Demonology department's newest member, Hiram Rho, tries to gain his footing among colleagues with specialties like vampirology, classical lechery, and postmodern feminist demonology. Before Rho has been on campus a month he has acquired an affectionate demon with a plan to take over the department, the two senior demonologists have lost their souls and their health insurance, and Rho's problems have embroiled everyone from the mysterious Alchemy faculty to the pigeons on his window ledge.

It's spring break. Demonology faculty have scattered to the four winds except for Neil Torecki and Teddy Whin, who venture into the alchemists' study garden to rescue a lost colleague. They don't know that the garden opens into an ancient prison for dissident alchemists, or that the world's most dangerous possessing demon has taken refuge there, feeding on the prisoners while it plots to take over leadership of a major religion.
available now from
Double Dragon Publishing

and Amazon Kindle Store

available now from
Double Dragon Publishing

and Amazon Kindle Store

None of Anders Regans' colleagues in Demonology would have voted him most likely to become a god, but what did they know? A mild-mannered botanist finds himself embroiled in plant pornography, dryad rights, and the theology of conference door-prizes. Illustrated by Georgie Schnobrich.

Available now for $0.99 from Amazon or Smashwords
Read an excerpt

They all suspected he was abusing his graduate student, but only the cats saw what she did about it. Cover: 'The Cat Jury' by Chris Hadley.

Available now for $0.99 from Smashwords and Amazon
Read an excerpt




What happens when you put the Demonology Department's resident curmudgeon in charge of the world's messiest, most dangerous research museum? Garnish with holiday trimmings, a dragon, and a banshee in the basement, and there's sure to be trouble at the Royal Academy.

Available now for $0.99 from
Smashwords
or Amazon
Read an excerpt

William Harrison Gracile, enchanter and Development Officer extraordinaire, has never met a woman he can't handle -- until he finds himself caught between a maker of dreams and the Academy's professional lecher.
Previously reprinted in
Year's Best Fantasy 3.

Only $0.99 from Amazon
Read an excerpt

Four Royal Academy stories in one handy paperback for your non-e-reading friends. Want's Master and Other Stories From Osyth is now for sale at Createspace and Amazon

A University's Development Officer raises money by enchanting donors, until he meets one stronger than he is; the Demonology Department's resident curmudgeon is saddled with the world's messiest, most dangerous research museum; a mild-mannered botanist finds himself embroiled in green slavery, dryad rights and the theology of conference door-prizes; and only a professor's cats can tell what kind of curse his graduate student put on him. All the things we love, and love to hate, about University life are here in the Royal Academy at Osyth series. With, of course, added dragons.
Cover: 'The Cat Jury' by Chris Hadley. Interior illustrations by Georgie Schnobrich.



Entertaining and Smart Her world is engaging and unexpected ... consider it the Harry Potter series told from the perspective of the magic teachers. This makes this novel a great read for adults and also a fresh perspective on the whole wizardry thing. Highly recommended!"

A journalist, Amazon review

... a much more interesting take on demonology than the more traditional realm-of-hell version...definitely recommended

Cold Iron and Rowan Wood

I was delighted to come across this wry, inventive fantasy... Anyone who's spent time at a university will recognize the place...
I'd recommend this to anyone who appreciates academic life, spells, counter-spells, supernatural battles, and the charms of discourse.

5 stars from
Sofia Samatar

© 2010 Patricia S. Bowne (pat.bowne@gmail.com)